I had a “crash and burn” day today. Things had been going really well. But, for some reason, I had some very strong feelings of self-doubt that I couldn’t shake. Instead of working through the feelings, I shut out the pain and acted out. It was a bad spell, too. I didn’t go to class, and I got almost nothing accomplished today. After acting out, I felt terrible. My recent efforts seemed all for naught, and I considered retreating back into apathy and indifference. But, with a little reflection, and the help of good friends with whom I was able to talk about what happened, I feel like I can use today as a learning experience.
First of all, the healing process is a PROCESS. Its not going to happen all at once. And I need to be aware of the progress I’m making and maintain a positive attitude. I also thought about my commitment to the healing process. Do I really want to change my behavior? Am I willing to do what it takes? Am I willing to give up the things that are making me unhappy, despite the fact that they bring me temporary pleasure? I need to make healing a priority and be proactive in seeking the healing power of the Atonement. In addition, I learned today about the power of asking for help. I could have very easily fallen back into another slump today. But, the wonderful people that I turned to were able to help me see past this, and realize that there’s still hope for change. I guess the important thing in all of this is that, in spite of a rough day today, I’m going to keep moving, and I’m going to be okay.
